Monday, March 06, 2006

Car Shopping

Car dealers are the greatest assholes on the planet. Yesterday, lured in by an ad - most likely a scam ad - that promised cheap-o cars from ought five, my wife and I decided to do a little car shopping. We were lied to from the beginning - and this should be a warning to all people who plan to do any shopping in the Raleigh-Durham area in the future: NEVER GO TO MILLENIUM MAZDA, HYUNDAI, KIA in Durham, on US 15-501.

Seeing my obviously pregnant wife, the sales bastard immediately showed us a bunch of cars we told him were out of our price range. PRICE RANGE, to these guys, immediately screams "Payments! We want low payments and don't care how much interest we have to pay!" So he tells us lie #2 (lie #1 being the ad): "We've got an '04 Mazda MPV that my sales manager could let go with a full factory warranty." First off - no car dealer in his right mind would sell a used car with a full factory warranty. We believed him when he told us he'd show us the car. We walked in and sat down. Instead of him walking out with a set of keys to show us this magical mystery mobile, he walks out with a "sales manager" who wants to take my wife's keys and look at the Bug.

"We'd rather look at the car first," I say, grabbing her wrist. "Show us a car - we want to see what we may buy first."

"We need to see what kind of negative equity we've got going on here," said Pink-Shirted Jackass (aka the sales manager). "We'll qualify you for a car and then let you see what is in your range."

Now, we have good credit. We're on a grad-student husband/teacher wife budget, but we're not poor. This was obvious - we were clean and well-dressed (Sarah in some 'spensive shoes, me in a Polo sweater and khakis with Birkenstock clogs). What was going on?

"I'm not giving you a thing until we see a car," say I.

"Then I can't help you," says Pink-Shirted Jackass, standing up, acting as if he were about to leave.

Car dealers hate when you can honestly stand up and walk out - you've got the money that they want to steal. So we did. The salesman started to chase us, the Pink-Shirted Jackass stood there, looking like a fool. We were "in the market," but we didn't "need" a car - the bug is a fine automobile, runs like a dream. We got in and drove away. To hell with them - they'll not get my money. I'd pay a higher price on a car before I let myself get bullied by some ignorant, slick-wannabe jackass who thinks that his diploma from "Mazda sales school" means dick-all to me. "Consult" my middle finger, dickhead.

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